"You Have A Problem" - Friends Who Think Your Hobby Is Wank

I don't discuss how much my dolls costs with friends. The friends that collect dolls, know how much I spend on them. The ones that don't, well they don't really have enough interest in the dolls to want to know. My husband however, is not so supportive about how much they cost. So I just point out how much he spends on his hobbies and he gets over it. I don't tell my family how much they cost either, because that would open a big can of worms, since I don't live in the same state my family does, and they'd chalk up my not being able to visit because of how much I spend on dolls (but that comes down to how much vacation time I have not $).

 

Most of my freinds and family arent aware of how much my dolls cost. Which can be good or bad, the good is that they dont criticize the spending, the bad, is that they dont treat them as carefully as they shold :P

My boyfriend gave me flack about my first doll, but mostly because I was doing an Internship and he was helping me out with my portion of the rent (although, let me clarify I never asked him to, when i would give him checks, he just wouldnt cash them. ever.)

But now he's over it and we agree that our money is our own. He even sees the advantages since I do faceups and get a little extra money on the side. Nowadays my hobby pays for itself

 

i have problems with my parents and my sister about the dolls they think is stupid hobby and get mad at me alot they tell everyone they meet about the bjd s and about how crazy iam which i iam not i really love my hobby.when i met my boyfriend they told so he would think wrong but he understands. i soon got married and he bought me one and my family doesent understand us both they were both crazy now. but i dont mind maybe cause iam fed up with them now. bjds make me happy and is my money i can do what i want.

 

I used to take a lot of heat from my father about this hobby. He insisted that it was a waste of money, that it was for 'strange' people, and even told me in public that I was abnormal for liking these dolls.

The worst thing about this is how hypocritical it is, because my father and brother both do scuba diving as a hobby. They spent thousands of dollars just to get the initial equiptment and classes squared away, and they do dozens of dives a year that cost $100~300 each. Plus equiptment updates, check-ups to make sure they are still in safe condition, and refresher courses once a year.

And yet my hobby, the one that if I keep my dolls in good condition retains their market value and I can get most if not all of my money back at any time by selling them, is the hobby that is a waste of money and abnormal.

 

I haven't even bought my first BJD yet and I'm already in hot water with my friends and family over it. My dad thinks that it's a childish waste of money I'm too old for (At fifteen, you say?) My mother is very much the same way, and... let's just say that I wouldn't let slip to any of my friends the price of a BJD, because their reaction to my DSLR's price last year was bad enough. ("That much on a camera?! Couldn't you have bought like a Kodak or something?!")

 

i dont actually know anybody who got dolls... (near me i mean)
and im gonna share my room with a friend very soon... she thinks im crazy xD
my mum totally doesn't understand why i want to spend that much money on "a piece of plastic", as she calles it. >.<
i dont actually care, im gonna get a doll, no matter what they say

 

I'm the only one in my small town with BJDs.

My friends think my dolls are cool. They don't freak out when I tell them the price. They just have one of those "Oh..." reactions.

My parents understand my love for my dolls, so they don't mind. As long as I'm not draining my funds or anything.

 

I'm fortunate... my mom is the only one I really talk about dolls to, and she's as obsessed as me. I'm going on a trip soon, and I'm half expecting that my doll will come while I'm away. I told her she's not allowed to open it until I get home and we almost started arguing. She was obviously annoyed with me.

 

my friends dont really care about the hobby... much. Since i'll end up getting my friend HER first bjd she will end up coming to the dark side as well haha. but she will most likely joine because of the artistic side of it, as in doing faceups and making cute little things.

my mom was totally against it because of the financial aspect of the hobby. I ordered my first doll yesterday and my mom has slightly calmed down on hating them lol

 

Well said! I would much rather get a 600$ BJD every ten months, than to spend the same money buying 60$ games once a month for ten months.

One of my friends told me I was crazy for wanting such expensive dolls ("Why don't you stick to just Barbies?", he asks.) I quickly went through his video game collection -- just the games he bought this year. He had about enough for a Soom Monthly. We also went through another friend's concert tickets -- she could get about two Mecha Angels a year if she stopped going to shows so often.

But, neither case is "crazy", because their hobbies (playing games and going to shows) does not affect their lives or finances negatively.

Same goes for BJDs. If you aren't...
* turning into a recluse who only plays with dolls
* selling things you need (computer, house) for BJD money
* scamming people to get BJD money
* neglecting your dependents to spend time on DoA or at meets
* maxing out credit cards like crazy, having something around ten dolls that you're paying off at the same time, and getting into debt
* or ditching an important work/school meeting to go to a meet, or to be online when a time-limited goes on sale
... then I don't think there's a "problem"!

 

i consider myself very lucky, as my friends don't have a problem with me liking dolls at all. sometimes i'll link them to dolls i'll find pretty and we'll ooh and ahh over them but that's about it. they don't say i have a problem, just that if it makes me happy then so be it. they don't really care what i do as long as i'm happy.

 

Eh, just like any thing else, Dolls CAN be a problem. Especially if someone has an addictive personality. I know myself, it's darn HARD too keep myself in reign with these guys. And it's BECAUSE of my addictive personality. When I get into something, it's all I do, it's all I want, and I want as much as I can get of it. I currently have 4 with one on the way. The latest one, and one of the others, I should not have bought due to my financial situation at the time. I keep trying to figure out how to swing a MNF, even though with a baby on the way dolls should be the last of my concerns. I probably will talk myself out of her, however.

So, I think when someone close to any of us says we have a problem, perhaps we should listen? I mean, it's one thing when they just think it's a weird hobby. But if they already know about, and accept the hobby, well.... listening is awesome. But, like anything else, as long as you're not screwing yourself financially, or becoming unhealthily wrapped up in the resins, then it's fine to keep going with dollie buying no matter the price or how many you already have.


As for my friends, one non-dollie friend expressed concern about my buying them. And well, I listened, because I WAS snapping up too quickly for my financial means. Now I'm back on track. Everyone else who is a good enough friend to know about the hobby has never said anything negative. Most are fairly interested (though most are also anime kids who are used to seeing them at cons). One older woman at work didn't even bat an eye when I said the expense of them (when I mentioned what most non-dollie people think, she laughed and asked how it was different than rebuildiing cars and selling them, or any other hobby people think is acceptable).

 

All my friends think it's freaky, but they mostly just shake their heads and smile XD
I've been weirdly obsessed with other things before,(Tokio Hotel ) so I don't think it's anything new to them.

 

Actually it's kind of annoying how aginst the hobby my family is. Specifically my parents. My brother's fine, bar the occasional 'he look like a girl comment, but he's always interested to see when I get a new one xD

I literally can't buy my doll a pair of shoes without being lectured about what a waste of money it is, that I should have a more adult hobby for someone my age, and that I should be saving for...pretty much anything except these dolls. If we ever get into an argument, they always bring up my doll habbit, like it's a bad thing.

 

That's too bad that some people are taunted by friends or worse relatives that don't understand your hobby. Guess I am fortunate in that my husband not only understands but buys dolls for me for my Birthday and other Holidays. He has his hobby too, building sci-fi stuff and I understand that as well, its what he loves to do and I love dolls We support each other fully in our hobbies.

My mother who is 88 loves seeing my dolls when she comes over and my daughter-in-law marvels over the details. My sister doesn't say much so I know what she thinks, not that I care LOL! She knows better than to say anything negative about my hobby.

 

My family is tolerant, my friends are supportive, but some of my coworkers are just silly. I stopped talking about my dolls long ago (even though it seems like I'm constantly buying supplies at work to make stuff for them) because one of my coworkers was obviously uncomfortable with the fact that I collect and play with dolls. I'd love to have a coworker I could chat with about dolls, to make some of the long work days a bit shorter, but it's really not a problem. Not everyone is going to like what I like, and there's no reason they should. However, if any of my friends were consistently mean to me about dolls, I would stop spending time with them, because they obviously don't respect me, and I've been working with dolls for much longer than I've collected bjd. I would rather hang with people who care more about me than the weird hobbies I might have.

 

I bang on about this all the time, and I'll bang on about it some more.

We spend money on dolls. Other people spend money on World of AddictCraft (and all the crap that goes with it). Cosplay/cons. Fashion. Eating out. Entertainment/gadgets. Books. Spoiling their pets. On and on and on. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, has their own personal money-sink that makes them happy. All you have to do is call them out on it. Someone says "Oh wow, that doll cost $200, that's insane"...what if they eat out for lunch every day? With today's prices, two weeks' worth of their lunch (or less) just paid for that doll. What if they buy video games? Most games for the new consoles are $50 new, aren't they? That's only 4 of their precious video games. Once you start breaking down the average costs of your hobby vs. theirs, even the loudest of the detractors tend to shut up.

I have some pretty great friends. Even if they don't like dolls, or are scared of them, they all appreciate how much I love my dolls and everyone I know can get behind my opinion that customizing and modding the dolls is pretty cool and fun. But then again, my cohort group, as a majority, have been self-sufficient (or mostly so) adults for several years and therefore have much more sanguine attitudes towards how other people spend their own money. Since, after all, it isn't theirs to dictate the spending thereof.

PearlZenith brought up coworkers...well, I once brought one of my dolls to an overnight disaster shift. She was the hit of the night and everyone wanted to have their picture taken with her. But then again...I'm fairly young as regards the average in my field so there's less of the "what the heck is THAT GOD my coworkers are weird" and more of the "and what has the crazy kid brought in today, it looks cute" attitude.

 

Well, I have to admit, Ophelia, I've taken my doll to work at a previous job, and he was a hit. Although I don't talk about dolls with coworkers for the most part, I do occasionally chat with customers who collect dolls or other things, since they understand (especially about the thrill of a NEW thing.) If I could have doll with me at all times, I'd bring one to my current job to show my more understanding coworkers just what kind of dolls I have. One of them did seem to be genuinely interested, but the lack of a safe haven for the doll has kept me from risking it.

 

I'm guessing you work retail, Pearl. Not the best atmosphere for a fragile doll. ^.~ But if you're like me and manning a block of ZOMGTECHNOLOGY in what amounts to an aboveground bunker at 3am and reduced to twirling in your seat and singing Bohemian Rhapsody with your coworkers because even if a hurricane IS ripping through the state, no one's calling YOU at this hour, dolls are pretty safe to bring XD

 

In my case. The mere problem is that I m single. And friends or relatives think that the BJD is to fill this missing relationship. As I couldn't have a normal relationship with a human being