"You Have A Problem" - Friends Who Think Your Hobby Is Wank

I actually find people are quite intrested in my odd hobbies until they find out how much things cost, so often I find I edit the cost or just omit it. I also find other people who have expensive collections/hobbies are more understanding of the joy that it brings and are less concerned with the $$$ aspect

 

For me personally, if any of my friends were rude enough to tell me, "you have a problem" because they disagree with a hobby of mine (and not out of actual concern for my well-being, that is), I would let them know that their attitude is unacceptable. Now, clearly, if I'm gambling or if I'm buying doll after doll after doll and not paying my rent or bills or eating properly to pay for them, then yes, I would have a problem, and they'd be right in intervening.

But to just tell someone they have a problem based on a hobby that another person doesn't like, that's entirely different and uncalled for. I would let them know that, too. You don't have to love and obsess in my hobby with me, but good grief, don't be down-right nasty about it.

 

Meh. I have problems but none of them have to do with my hobbies.

I almost consider it a point of pride that people think I'm weird... It means the clever ruse I have going to cover my alter ego as a boring librarian is working!

 

well....... I should say : let it go!
It's my way!
my hobby is MINE, no one can change!

 

I just ordered my first dollie and when I told my friends/family about it, my brother's response was: "Don't you have anything better on which to spend your money?" And my Dad gave me a rather horrified look when he found out how much it cost me.

First of all, it's MY money, that I made myself, so I should be able to spend it however I see fit. As long as I'm getting enjoyment out of it, it shouldn't matter if it's a doll, a game system, or new clothes.

What really struck me though is the fact that my brother and my dad have NO room to talk about frivolously spending money. My brother has boxes upon boxes stored in our parents' attic full of trading cards, models, actions figures, more models, and various collectibles that he forgets are even up there. I know for sure that my dolls will NEVER be collecting dust up in an attic somewhere. My dad, on the other hand, has a habit of getting started in really expensive hobbies and losing interest quickly. My mom told me that when they first got married, my dad bought a 100 gallon saltwater fish tank that took years to pay off. He never even put any fish in it, and sold it before it was paid off.

I suppose my point is that everyone has their own hobbies and as long as you're getting your money's worth of enjoyment out of your dolls, no one should be able to tell you that it's a problem or a waste of money. Perhaps in the eyes of others it's not worth it, but what matters is how you feel.

 

I don't really care much what my family & friends think of my hobby.
I don't really talk about my dolls to them anymore though cos they're really just not interested.
I did show my Puki's to my sister and she loved them!!!
Her jaw did nearly hit the floor when I told her the pricetag though lol
.... I guess non-collectors don't have the appreciation of workmanship that we do and so cannot justify their cost ;-)
There are much worse vices we could be spending money on that's for sure.
I have quite a large collection of My Child dolls also and do get some funny looks from parents who come to pick their kids up from a play!!! Its quite funny really!
I do describe myself to them as 'the crazy doll lady' lol....

 

I think for people who don't enjoy dolls, it can be hard for them to see why you would spend so much, on something that, to them, is simply a bit ob plastic with some strings inside~

Luckly for me, my mother and sisters are in to dollies too! So we can share the hobby!

 

Although my family doesn't understand why I spend so much money on dolls, they're not worried for me, because they know I handle my funds well.

Usually, I try to make my father, mother and sister understand what interests me so much in them and slowly I see a shift in how they react to them. My mother doesn't constantly nag about the price tag anymore, my sister encourages me to buy the dolls I want and my father made a compliment the other day telling me he thought I had a great eye for quality. Few years ago I wouldn't have imagined responses like this.

Sometimes however, I still get those 'but why??' questions. An aquaintance of mine told me that I could buy a trip to Hawaii with that money. He was absolutely shocked. I told him: "That's great, but I don't wanna go to Hawaii, or any other place. I want this doll." He never mentioned it again.

All I'm trying to say is, stay calm. Reason with them and try to make them understand how much the hobby means to you, but avoid forcing the subject on to them.

 

my father dun really have a problem with my having such a hobby. He sed, as long at you're not doing anything dangerous or illegal, it's okii. And as long as i keep track of spending or that i study hard in school, and finish college, it's all okii. my mom is a bit on the ehh side. she things that it's a waste blowing so much money on dolls, but she really dosent mind as long, as i find a way to control my spending and earnings. Just not TOO much dolls..i plan to have only like 4 or 5 anyways..ha ha!

 

I tend to just ignore friend that disapprove of my hobby. More dollies for me! I got my mom to do it with me by having her teach me how to sew. She loves sewing, and she had enjoyed teaching me to make clothes for my doll. So I guess what I am trying to say is; make your hobby relate able for other people, and they will tend to look more kindly on it.

 

lol, at first my friends kind of questioned why i got one, but as soon as i kind of explained my reasons and showed them pics of the doll i was getting, they became interested. and now my friend is giving me ideas for potential photo shoots!

 

Well it hurts when someone I love scuffs at my the things I hate but as long as they aren't really rude or hard on it, I try not to let it bothe me too much. Most people have something they value as a luxery and worth spending a lot of money on. Some people it's clothes, manicues, make-up, shoes, purses, concerts, electronics, ect. For some people, it's dolls. I happen to have several hobbies that can get rather pricey, and I know that. That is why I don't really have a lot in any of them (except for my oldest two hobbies/collections) and even then they pale in comparison to other enthusiasts.

If someone you care about is more on the supportive side but not rude and doesn't pester you on your expensive hobby, then try to let it roll of your shoulders, better to let it go then to start a fight with a loved one. If they continue to pester you, then stay calm and tell them it's hurtful that they are being so supportive of something that is important to you, and that you know they don't like it but they don't have to keep fixating on the issue. Remind them of any pricey habits they or other loved ones might have to put things in perspective.

Sometimes people we love don't realize they are being hurtful to us (I'm guilty of it), and even though it's hard, telling them that what they say bothers you, may just get them to stop.

 

Mum actually forbade me to buy another doll. "Unfortunately" she doesn't have any expensive hobbies, so I can't point those out to her... I'm starting to think that it's my own fault that she disapproves, because I never talk about dolls to her (thinking she doesn't care anyway). Maybe she now feels as if I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about dolls as I am, in reality.

Fortunately my father, sister and friends are fine with it~

 

before i got my doll, my mum was always like "although this is your money, i will have the final decision" on nearly everything.
mayb she thinks i've grown up, so when i asked her of i could get a doll, she said yes, even if she doesn't see a point in it her self.
however she does limit on how much the doll is, e.g. not dolls in the price for example-- a DOD, coz she thinks a piece of resin doesn't worth that much.

when i showed my neighbour my doll, she was amazed as well as shocked by the price, my mum was really good in home economics, so she said "your mum would be very happy to make clothes for them, she likes things like this". i listened, and thought "no no, she wouldn't of she knows the price, and would probably make me sell them "

however my mum actually did (although not as passionate as i am), which suprised me, A LOT.
and my dad just kept at neutral and didn't make any comment, however he NEVER bothers to even care about my dolls, and thinks i'm always over exaggeratng, erm, no. i am NOT when you KNOCK MY DOLL OVER FROM A 1M COMPUTER DESK .
and my mum isn't that careful with them either, so i tend to refuse to let them handle my dolls.
Fortunately, my sister is a doll owner her self. in fact, she's the one that actually got me into dolls. =)

i have brought my dolls in school a few times coz i used them as a topic in my speeches, i mostly get posotive comments, even from people that i don't realy know that well, which is good coz i even got one of my friends into dolls ^^

but i have been disappointed at some pople that i thought wouldn't dislike my dolls and woudn't say nasty things.
this person in my japanese class not only laughed at my littl girl, but picked her up ROUGHLY, RAN AROUND THE CLASS ROOM WITH HER UP SIDE DOWN so that HER WIG FELL OFF.
afterwards i tried very hard to try and get the message through to his brick head.
the message that "MY DOLLS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOU PLAYING WITH HER LIKE THAT AND MAKING FUN OF HER"
i only brought her in that time to show my other friend who is really interested in BJDs and would like to se one in person. i thought i would have been okay coz i believed that all my friends in japanese class would be nice enough to not say anything offensive. and now he STILL doen't get what i'm trying to tell him, so i gave up in even TELLING him ¬.¬

 

That's really awful! I brought my boy to school and a girl in my choir class had a doll-phobia. So even though all the other girls wanted to play with him (even my teacher, who wanted to hold him all class) I had to put him away for her comfort because she was so scared.

 

anyone who knows thinks I am insane for collecting dolls (simply because I am not a woman, or gay) so a lot of insults come my way, and even more go back to them lol

 

I'm just feeling a little down because sometimes I'm made to feel ashamed about my hobby. I honestly don't see the big deal. Isn't it generally considered healthy to have a hobby? Or normal to collect things? I see collecting BJDs as collecting art, or even creating art.

Does anyone else have people in their lives who don't take your BJD hobby seriously? Or they think it's ridiculous that they are expensive? Or maybe they think it's childish?

 

Yes it's completely normal to have a hobby. I don't see the big deal of people criticizing the BJD hobby when they have hobbies themselves.
But I don't share my hobby with everyone for this reason because a lot of people outside the hobby don't take time to understand it.

 

A lot of people don't get other people's hobbies... even though almost all of us have them.

'Truth is, what we each find interesting or fun just isn't going to have universal appeal, rather it's collecting dolls, running marathons, growing roses or painting yourself blue and cheering like a maniac at every home team football game. You have to expect a certain amount of "Man, what?" from friends and family, no matter what Your Thing happens to be. That's just Life.

That said, you don't have to "get" something to still be kind to the person who's doing it. No one deserves to be given massive flack over how they spend their spare time... It sounds like some of the people around you need to be reminded of that, OP. The next time they grump about your dolls, it might be time to remind them of whatever THEIR weird interests are. Playing in compost and dirt? Euwh! Watching every single episode of Mad Men? Back-to-back? More than once? Craaaaazy, dude! ... And let's not even talk about that football thing. If they feel like they don't deserve to be given grief, then they need to learn to return the favor.

 

lol so well put I feel like this could almost be 'the last word' on the subject ... Well said Brightfires !

after all we are all pots, pans and kettles ^^