You're not allowed that doll...

That isn't exactly the most mature way to handle something IMO, and instead of getting your point across you just cause more problems. But hey, if a doll is more important than finding a way to compromise in life go for it. I suppose it depends on how serious your relationship is to the person in question.

I guess I'm lucky my guy has a love of creepy stuff in general, especially zombies. Maybe thats why he's not wigged out by my dolls. My suggestion is to figure out a way to handle his aversion to the doll you love or find another one he can handle without flipping out.

 

As my parents do help me pay for my dolls, they have a say (for now) on what ones I get.

My mother is very much against androgynous male dolls... >.< I disagree with her opinion, but for now I have to respect it. In the future though, when I'm paying for the doll with just my own money, then they will swarm into my house! >8D

She also hates any that well... aren't human. She even rejected one because "it's eyes look like a vampire's." The doll was DoI Kellan, by the way who doesn't really look like a vampire at all.

Maybe its because my mother is very conservative. ^^;;

 

stupidaz: Eventually you'll be on your own, and you will be able to control your own hobby. In the meantime, maybe you have a friend who would be willing to help you? Or another family member who understands? They could stay with someone else until you don't live at home anymore.

On topic: I'm surprised we don't hear more about younger collectors not allowed to bring boys home because of their realistic erm...bits. XD

 

If I were living with someone, I would have no qualms banishing things that creep me out to the point of phobia from our shared space.
I think a lot of people are reacting to the fact that it was a man telling "you're not allowed" to a woman. If it was the other way around, say, a husband asksing his clownphobic wife if he could buy an 80cm "Pennywise" action figure and the wife telling him "DO IT AND I'LL DIVORCE YOUR A**" would people be having the same kind of reaction?
Look, you can't really hide an 80cm doll... and if you do, he's probably going to be scared anyway just by *knowing* the doll is inside the house. Imagine the poor guy having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night but not going because he's scared to walk past the room where he knows the doll is ;P , there's no way this could be my daily life and I wouldn't wish such a miserable life on a loved one.

 

THIS.
So many times over, this this this.
I fear for the person that trys to tell me what to do with my money.

However, I will share this with you--I know of people in this hobby who have strictly "forbidden" others that were...friends of theirs from buying the same mold of doll they have.
Why this is, I can only hazard guesses.
Jealousy?
Control?
That petty immaturity and stupid power-play that sometimes makes this hobby a bit of a chore to deal with?
While it hasn't happened to me directly, having seen it and/or read it for myself....well, something like that, as well as the OP specific situation would more than just get my hackles up if it WERE me.

 

Well, this is not a simple matter. On one hand, no one should be allow to tell you what to do or don't with your own money. On the other hand, he DOES live in the house and it's not nice to live with something that creeps you out to the point of phobia. I think is quite sad that an adult can't handle looking at a doll, but all the same if you live together you should compromise. The best thing would be that you had a place to have your doll, and for it always be there so you could buy the doll you want and, at the same time, your boyfriend doesn't have to see something that creeps him out, but first you need space to do that.
For myself, I think it would get to my nerves if someone told me that I can't do or buy something just because they are scared, but again, if someone were going to buy something that scared me I would do the effort to get over it or at least reach a compromise.

 

My other half tries to dissuade me from buying new dolls, but if I really want something I'll get it xD. When it comes down to it, I make the money I spend!

My other half also doesn't really spend any money at all, and I am very frivolous with it. It's a bit bad of me I guess.

 

My boyfriend has no qualms over the dolls, though he did point out he wouldn't help me to pay for "anymore boys" for my collection. I find this fair, as I worry he feels a bit inadequate in comparison to my slim 6-pack-having resin boys. It doesn't mean that I can't buy anymore boys, just that if I do, he won't help me if I'm say $20 to pay for shipping, which is fine with me.

He's also asked that I slow down on buying a bit, which is also quite fine for me. However, I've been waiting quite awhile for some of the dolls I ordered to come in, which makes the urge to have new resin very very tempting.

 

I've never had that reaction (but then again, my boyfriend doesn't live with me!) but I know that my mother will comment whether or not I should get a particular doll, as I tend ask her whether I should or not XD Not because she's against it, but more of a reality check.

Usually I'm one to echo everyone else and say "It's my money dear", but I'm also one who compromises (occasionally ) If my boyfriend didn't like me to do something, I wouldn't, as long as he respects that it should be mutual, and if I ask him not to do something, to not do it. Admittedly, it sounds bad, but usually it's stuff that's not healthy to do that I ask him not to do, and vice versa.

 

I've never had that sort of situation. I honestly wouldn't buy a Lusion doll, because well... That size actually scares me. ^^;
Its important to be open to compromise, because it just wouldn't be fair to whoever your living with. I mean, there were times me and the BF were talking about tattoos for him, and he had told me about wanting a full arm robot tattoo. Whereas the same instance with the doll, that tattoo would really be expensive for one and well I'm not open to full arm tatts.
Relationships are about communication and being sensitive to each others fears. Sometimes you give up the things you want to make the other person comfortable.

 

I think everyone is jumping the gun here a little. It's not exactly fair to go around accusing a guy of being overly controlling and abusive just because he doesn't want you to buy something that would honestly scare him to be around. I don't think I could live with someone who had realistic zombie toys and horror movie posters everywhere, for instance.

If you're both living in the house and paying for the house, you should both get a say in what goes in the house, regardless of gender or anything like that. Sometimes you have to make compromises. It's part of life.

 

Agreed. Living with someone requires some amount of compromise. I do feel that people should be able to spend their money on whatever they want but buying a doll just to spite someone is no mature way to handle the situation, and above all, would cause more problems instead of solve them. It's an indicator of lack of respect for the other person, I feel, to simply do whatever one wants to do.

Regardless, no, I haven't been told not to get a specific sculpt/size by anyone. In the event that I was, I would try to either ease the person into at least finding the doll minimally acceptable, and then keep said doll tucked away into its box and wouldn't take it out unless I wanted to bring it to a meet or take photos. If my way of coming to the middle wouldn't take, and I was living with the person who doesn't like it (say my girlfriend), I simply would not buy the doll; I care more about my girlfriend.

 

I definitely agree with monkeypizzasonic, JayEll, and the others who've said the same -- respect for the other individual's wishes and comfort come above a piece of resin, so far as I'm concerned. I am living alone now, but when I had roommates, I wouldn't buy anything that genuinely made them uncomfortable, because those relationships were more important to me than a possession. I realize, for some people it's less about the object and more about the freedom to obtain said object if one so desires, but living with other people always requires some amount of compromise to be achieved successfully.

Phobias are phobias, and being afraid of dolls isn't really any sillier than being afraid of bugs, nonpoisonous snakes, or the undead, but plenty of people think those are acceptable fears. If someone is genuinely creeped out by a particular sculpt, I think it would be fair not to expose them to it.

Since I don't share my living space (except with pets, who don't mind what I buy so long as it isn't an other dog >> ) I haven't been forbidden anything. When I tried to tell my mother about BJDs once, she tried telling me that I wouldn't be getting one, but that was more related to her feelings on the price tags. I just learned not to discuss them with her again.

 

As an adult I wouldn't have anyone tell me what I can and cannot do, however obviously your situation involves your partner who you live with. I think it's a difficult situation if he is genuinely afraid of the doll that size, yet you really like it. I guess, seeing as you have other dolls, you could move on and not have the Lusion doll.

I think the only time I had something similar is when I mentioned to my partner about the centaur sized dolls, and he didn't seem to like the idea much, plus we don't really have the room heh! He was right really, but I wasn't that fussed anyway :/

The comments hinting towards her partner being absuive or controlling based on a very brief post from the OP are damaging and irrational. The OP's partner is a human being with likes and dislikes, and she stated he is afraid of the idea of the doll. There is no suggestion that he is controlling at all from the post- if they live together they have commitments together and so she wants to consider all areas of the issue.

edit: just rereading some of the comments. I want to agree with those who said that if thee is a shared income thena $1000+ doll isn't something that can usually be decided on lightly. There is also the situation of mutual respect, the OP feeling irksome towards a doll is not controlling or forbidding her to having any life at all. My partner and I have compromise as he is a huge football fan ( can't stand it), and obviously I have the dolls. But, I will listen to him if he talks about Man City football club, the same he listens about my dolls. When you are in a relationship you cannot have the 'I will do what I want and screw you' attitude, or do things in spite. It has to work both ways otherwise you are essentially putting a piece of expensive resin over the feelings of someone you are supposed to love. That is equally as abusive and controlling as the proposed behaviour of the boyfriend.

 

There's a difference in someone whom you live with telling you not to order something from a phobia instead of just not wanting you to have it. Phobias aren't something you just imply get over, and they're not something done out of spite. Personally, I am terrified of clowns and spiders. I know that they're both irrational fears and I shouldn't be afraid of them, but it doesn't change the fact that I am. Personally, I'm embarrassed over both of these fears. I'm a grown woman who likes to be tough, but the sight of Ronald McDonald makes me shake and feel sick to my stomach? Or a little bug, tinier than a freckle, will make me scream and sob?

Guess what my roomate loves? Scary movies (which frequently contain clowns) and she adores spiders. Since she has allergies to pet dander, I'm sure she'd love to have a pet Tarantula to spoil with love. But whenever I'm around she warns me about the movies she has if they contain clowns and she keeps her spidery tales away from me. On my part, I kept my dolls boxed away until I got my own space for them. Recently she gave me the okay to display them in our living room. When you live with someone, it's give and take. Unless you don't want your roomate to respect your choices and your requests, you can't just ignore theirs. If I openly flaunted the dolls around and shoved them in my roomate's face, I really couldn't get mad if she showed up at the house with a trantula from the pet shop, now could I?

 

I have no problem with the remarks that people can't tell you what to spend your money on, but I definitely want to have some control over what is placed in my proximity. I mean, you can buy the doll, sure, but don't talk to me about it, don't let me see, don't put it anywhere where I might accidently walk in on it. If I was afraid of a certain sculpt, and I'm certainly creeped out by some of them, I hope my significant other would respect that enough to not buy one. In the case that one is the house, I wouldn't be comfortable living there as well. I don't think its a control issue at all.

 

My husband used to be creeped out by dolls when i first stated collecting but he got over it and they all live in our bedroom now. Hes never told me not to buy a particular doll, he might kindly remind me that we need to pay for XYZ and probally shouldnt do any extra spending but that where it ends. Hes a collector himself so he understands.

 

My husband is afraid of dolls, so I do let him have some veto power over the ones I bring into the house. I do have to say that if I tried to bring a life sized murderous toddler doll home he would probably freak out. He wouldn't forbid it, but I do think it would be a "her or me" type of situation. Not that it would happen - that little girl looks ready to stab somebody......

 

Relationships are about compromise!! It's actually a little brow-raising that so many
are jumping to the conclusion that because he doesn't want to have THIS doll around
him, that somehow makes him controlling and even evil He's not ordering dinner
for her...or picking out her clothes etc. etc.!
Plain and simple he sounds afraid of Lusion, and I don't completely blame him...she's
HUGE and as others have pointed out, she has a certain less than pleased expression,
more than half of the ones I've seen look like they're planning something

I'm sure a lot of the posters feel they are "sticking up for themselves" by saying nobody
would be allowed to tell them what they can/cannot do, unfortunately in this context it
just comes off as childish....if a relationship or even marriage would end over a simple
request as "please don't buy THAT doll" then you probably shouldn't be together to begin
with. Yep, I said it. If that's the worst thing you ever had to deal with then you should
count yourself lucky. (this isn't directed @ the OP, who simply asked a question)

 

I'd never let someone else decide whether or not I could get a doll. It may sound inconsiderate, but I have my reasons... If someone I lived with or saw often had an issue with a certain doll, then I would do my best to remove the doll when they were with me. I would not make them have to look at the doll or be around it. I understand that MANY people are afraid of dolls, and I can respect that 100%. Some dolls scare me too! But if I truly love a doll, I don't think I would be able to just cave in to someone else's demands. I'd make a compromise with them saying that I'd never talk about it or show them that doll. Then I think that's a fair deal for everyone involved.