You're not allowed that doll...

Oh gosh, this made me laugh out loud!!!!!!! Aside from that, now that I have gained my composure, I have never had this happen, but to ease myself into more then one doll, I showed my hubby ladies that had many more then one, so I was not going crazy after all!!

 

I don't have a partner to object to what I buy or don't. So the money thing isn't an issue. But my roommate though very tolerant of most dolls does get creeped out by my horror dolls. To be polite I just keep those in my room. I will still buy them though. I can understand a kid sized doll being creepy to someone. But totally forbidding you to own one? Or even look at one? I don't know about that. That seems rather controlling to me.

 

Yeesh. If someone told me that they forbade me to buy a doll - or anything else, for that matter - with my own money, I would just look at them funny and proceed to buy it. Then again, I've never been good at following orders.

 

My husband would never forbid me to own any certain doll. He doesn't think dolls are creepy expect the ones that are meant to look creepy. To be honest I think most people who say they are creepy are really just saying they don't get it and they're dumb but saying they're creepy is acceptable. Maybe ask him why he thinks it's creepy and it's possible you'll get a different explanation. I mean everyone knows a doll cannot come alive and attack you lol Except maybe a child.

 

Wow, so what people are saying here is that their absolute mandate to their SO is that they aren't allowed to impose absolute mandates...... seems kinda hypocritical to me. Maybe that's why so many marriages fail today.

My husband has so far never forbidden me from anything, but if he was truly terrified of something I wouldn't think twice about not getting it. Likewise I put him through a lot of trouble over my ridiculous phobia. We're in this relationship together, and compromise is a must. Also, I don't like to buy dolls to put them in a box or another room. I want to see them, or I forget about them. So it's important that he doesn't hate them since they live in shared space. And even if I were willing to keep a doll away in my hobby room, I would still need to bring them out to go anywhere, especially for a big doll like a Lusion that may not have a carrier.

(Also, as a side note, I think it's silly to say you would never let anyone control your actions. See, there are always people that control you, such as your boss who tells you when you can or can't take a break or a vacation. )

 

Oh, get over yourself. If my hubby hates a doll, I'll buy it, hide it under a blanket, only impose it upon him at Halloween, and then he'll snicker his butt off. Oooo...compromise. Scary.

And if I put in a vacation request, my boss says no prob. Again, yeesh

 

You can see the OP edit their opening question (an edit which people are still ignoring) to try and get people to relay similar situations. Unfortunately, if they were really interested in the topic they probably should have completely left out the personal anecdote since the language they used to convey their message is obviously waving a red cape in the bullring or edited the language. And three years later it's still going.

I have never had someone deny me a specific doll but then my SO and I don't live together. I think this situation would likely save a lot of relationships. However, she doesn't really approve of the dolls because they cost so much money. I don't leave my dolls on display on a day to day basis so it's pretty easy for me just leave them in their coffins when she comes over. Initially she was okay with one or two and I would leave them out but as the collection has grown I decided to avoid her snarky comments followed by my snarky retorts by leaving them out of sight. If we did live together I'm sure we could compromise and I'm sure she would be fine with my Dream of Doll or Doll Chateau sculpts (since she likes those ones). Since we both agree that what makes bjd's interesting is the more stylized sculpts, I'm sure she would probably not be so thrilled by a Dollmore Lusion, not so much by it's size as by it's realism. That might creep her out. Of course, since they creep me out, we wouldn't have that problem. Circus Kane's Stadnik wouldn't probably be a problem to bring into the home other than trying to justify it's extremely high price tag.

 

I looked and didn't see anything "scary" about Lusion except maybe the price?

 

I've been told this... By me, actually. I used to forbid myself to even want several sculpts... It's because either i can't afford them, eg bermann, or they're too good to be mine. Now i have one that once was forbidden, my precious hound, and i don't do this anymore... Though maybe i should stop wishing for bermann again. It's too heartbreaking.
I don't think my family would ever tell me what i cannot buy. But i guess if he's freaked out by this doll... If it's my grail doll being forbidden, i'd negotiate to the bitter end. And if not... I don't really need it if it's not, so whatever.

 

To me this sounds like more of a phobia than a case of coersion (Ahh shoot how do I spell that?) or control. I think that compromise is important in any family, and if you discuss the reasons why your significant other doesn't want the doll in their presence, I think as adults, a compromise can be reached. I mean, I find the Lusions to be downright freaky myself, but I have the same problem with hyper-realistic baby dolls and (to an extent) any model of a thing that gives me uncanny valley heebie-jeebies. (Including, but not limited to: zombies, cakes that look like babies, porcelain dolls, Chucky, Husks and Scions from the Mass Effect video games etc. etc.) So I can kinda understand where your partner is coming from.

I think the reasons behind statements need to be discussed, but also, I believe that words like 'forbid' do come off as controlling and are probably not the best thing to have in a relationship as they sound a little controlling. However, the most important thing to remember is much like your dolly collection, you are the only person who can decide what is best for you in a relationship.

 

That friend being me... I often task her with doing the same for me and holding me back -especially when I'm saving up for a serious purchase- because I'm often easily swayed and I'd rather keep to the plan and also, because just like Shai, I tend to overspend on occasion. >__<;

 

I've never had anyone say I couldn't buy or look at a particular doll, and I don't think I'd respond well if they did. The only person I would compromise with or truly understand if they asked something like that of me would be my boyfriend. He's going to be stuck living with me until he's dead, it'd be completely rude of me to ignore such a request. It's not like my dolls are going to sit in boxes or display cases in the dark all day.

I'd want there to be a legitamate reason for this request though. Not just a "it looks weird" or something like that. But my boyfriend is very reasonable and approving of my BJD hobby, so he would never ask such a thing without a good reason anyway.

I kind of did this to myself though. I avoid DIM Flora at all costs, because she makes me stress out and upset to look at. Not the doll specifically, she's absolutely beautiful. My best friend in middle/high school was planning on getting her, and she ended up not being a good person, and she's caused quite some anguish and hard times for me, even though she's been "out of my life" for a few years now. Looking at DIM Flora just makes me upset.

 

My husband and I have a rule where were allowed to "veto" each other on any purchase over $35. If he didn't want me to get a doll if listen to why and if it was a valid reason like fear I would oblige. If it was a cost thing then I'd squirrel away my tips at work until I had a significant amount. If it was an obscure reason (never had been in our situation) then I would veto something he wanted for no reason just so he understood my point.

 

I agree that it is either a phobia or he just doesn't like the doll and doesn't want you to have one. Maybe he thinks the large size is weird. For me when I hear someone say dolls are creepy it could mean a number of things and not solely that the doll scares them. While phobias are real things they can be overcome and when they are people are better off. I always compromise with my husband because I love him but he would never tell me not to buy a certain doll.Frankly if he told me he was scared of a doll I would tease him forever. That's just how we are with each other. He barely sees my dolls he has his own hobbies. I would never tell him what guitars not to buy really if he wants something I usually tell him to go for it unless we are strapped for cash. Phobias only hold people back so I say if you want it buy it and maybe he'll get past his fear of it. If not sell it or hide it in the closet and when you're mad at him lay it next to him in bed so he wakes up looking at it's face lol

 

I really like the Lusion, but I think my husband would feel like I was getting a child replacement...so I have chosen not to freak him out, I dont know whether that counts or not

 

If my partner was really afraid of a doll that I was seriously in love with I would still get it. But I wouldn't show it to him or put it on display like my other dolls. He would never forbid me anything so that situation is hard to imagine for me...

 

My mum tells me to stop buying them all the time! But I never do. It's a shame you can't get the doll you want, maybe if he sees her he'll change his mind. I know there are real baby dolls called reborn that are very life like, maybe he thinks she's one of those.

 

My husband is not a big fan of dolls in general. He says "they're creepy and expensive". He was opposed to me getting my first, but eventually allowed it because he knew how much I wanted one. Once she arrived, he was indifferent at first but seemed to come around and eventually like her. So I thought he was over it. Oops. I got a DC Ada, and he freaked out. He finds her to be disturbing, and even asked me to put her away when I wasn't going to be home. Me being me, I forget to put her away, so I think with more exposure he's gotten less freaked out. Even so, when I suggested that I would like to get a DC Alberta (which I explained as "a much bigger Ada") he said "no way." While I don't think he would truely forbid it if I really wanted to get it, he is really opposed to me getting anymore "weird" dolls. When I ordered my most recent doll this week, even after showing him the pictures, he made me confirm that it "isn't a weird doll." x.x

Sorry for the extra long story! ^^;;

 

I've never been told what dolls I can and can't buy, but I do have my mom and boyfriend that help me keep my spending habits in check. xD Honestly, I'd never tolerate anyone telling me what I can and can't spend my money on, especially in my own hobby. My boyfriend doesn't collect dolls but understands this is my hobby and appreciates it for the art that it is. I would hope that, if I were to ever want a Lusion (or anything that expensive), that he would tell me I shouldn't get it because of money reasons - not because I'm not "allowed" to buy it just because.

 

Hmmm, if the Lusions creep him out, I'd LOVE to know what he'd think about the Trinities! lol

I'd personally take issue with any guy who tried to tell me what I could and couldn't spend my money on, but if you don't mind that he's saying you can't buy a Lusion, and are willing to compromise with him and not buy one, then more power to you.

As for me, nobody has ever told me I couldn't buy a certain doll. And anybody who tried ... well, if they knew me, they wouldn't try, because they'd know I wouldn't listen, anyway.

I did have my seven-year-old niece tell me the other day that all the dolls sitting around my room are creepy. I just smiled and told her that she's more than welcome to LEAVE the room if they bother her. I just found it ironic since it used to be she always wanted to play with them when she was younger. Methinks it's maybe the new Trinity, who is almost as tall as SHE is, that probably freaked her out a bit. lol