Being Asked to Sell Your Doll By Fellow Hobbyist

To me it seems very rude to outright ask a stranger to sell you their doll. I was at a convention this weekend, and there were lots of dolls around that I would have loved, but instead of asking someone to sell, I just asked what company and sculpt! It seems like a pretty unique situation that you were at a con and had a new doll that hadn't been released yet and the woman wanted both of the dolls. I agree with you that she was out of line. There could be situations, though, where it would be less rude. If you're having a conversation with someone at a con or meet up and you've established a relationship with them and they've mentioned moving out of the hobby or losing interest or even saying "I have too many dolls" you could let them know you'd be interested in X doll if they were ever thinking of selling. But to just ask a stranger? No. I think that's rude.

 

I see no harm if the person asks politely, and if told no thanks and the person does not ask again I think it is OK. If the person starts pestering you, that is bad news. I see many dolls that people have just gotten that they sell, so people do sell new dolls. But if you say no thanks, that should be the end of the discussion unless you want to reopen it later for some reason.

 

As long as someone asks politely, I don't see the problem. Especially in the case where you described, where you might not be attached yet and she has the matching doll. However, if the talk of the house and stuff was designed to make you feel guilty, that is rude. I'm okay with putting the idea out there, not harassing or trying to play on emotions. Now st least two of my dolls have been bought from a doll friend, so I might be biased.

 

Hrm, I suppose it's all about how high strung you are. And how they inquired. If you're a laid back person and this situation happened where someone who wasn't being pushy or obnoxious slightly put out some feelers on your doll, you wouldn't be offended. Maybe you just didn't like the person's face or something? That's why you got offended?

 

If someone asked me, I wouldn't take offense. But I would never ask anyone. I have a friend who hasn't been active in this community for a long time and has two dolls I want, but I'd feel really awkward asking if she'd sell me one.

 

I think it really depends on how they worded it, the tone they used and whether they were being pushy after you said you weren't interested in selling.

 

I would have considered it rude. I wouldn't have liked her mentioning her daughter. If they had wanted that doll so badly, they should have bought it when it was on sale and not expected somebody else to 'retain' it for them till they felt like buying it.

 

Totally depends on the context - but as you described the situation, I don't think it was rude. Do we know if the lady and her daughter didn't arrive early enough to buy both, were there only two dolls, maybe they were searching for the "the perfect pair" and just missed out, etc. Of course the mother could wait till the dolls are released on the website but nothing beats being able to walk away with your new doll in hand especially if the concept is having a pair.

Honestly I would be flattered if someone wanted to buy my doll and inquired about it. And how many times have you been told or tell someone; "it never hurts to ask." In most cases, unless the person knows the specific situation it's impossible to tell if the owner would be willing/intending to sell the doll or if the doll has significant personal meaning. I think among collectors it's perfectly okay to express interest in buying because you never know. If the time comes and you need to sell - you would likely have your buyer.

 

You may find this thread relevant to your interests.

As for me, I find it depends on the phrasing and the situation. If someone asks "will you sell that doll to me" then I find it rude as all hell. If someone asks "hey, if in the future you ever decide to sell that doll will you please keep me in mind" then that's a different story -- but again, it depends on the situation. If it's someone I know saying that, then to me it's totally fine. A stranger, on the other hand, I would find uncomfortable. But if you clearly wanted that doll, to the point where you traded something else of value to get him? No, that is rude rude rude. Whether or not it came blank is irrelevant. What you've done with him is also irrelevant. If she wants another one, she can pursue another avenue to get another one.

I have had someone PM me with "hey, I saw you make a comment that you wanted one of these, are you possibly interested in purchasing mine", though. That was thoroughly awesome. (I bought her. She's sitting on my nightstand right now. )

 

It depends on the phrasing and the context, "Would you consider selling your doll?" or "Is your doll for sale?" is a lot different than "I want to buy your doll, how much do you want for it?"

Once someone says no, they should stop pushing or I would definitely consider it rude.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong or rude about them just asking. It's your doll and you can always say 'no'. Most of the time that's all there is to it. I do hate it though when people want it super cheap or keep bugging me about it trying to wear me down. THEN it gets rude!!

 

Personally I wouldn't ask. But I don't know if I'd be irritated or take it as a compliment. I think anything that has got to do with sales should only be talked about if made public by the owner before.​

 

It really depends on the way they went about it in my opinion. I've had someone ask to keep them in mind if I ever sold a doll, and I was not offended at all. I just let them know that I wasn't planning to sell currently, but if anything changes I would definitely keep them in mind. Now if they were demanding about it, I would politely decline, and if they pressed further I would just block/not respond. I have never felt the urge to buy someone else's doll, and knowing how special they can be I would never ask. If I want a doll I just put up a WTB thread and wait to see if someone is willing to part with theirs.

 

Love a win-win situation! that is awesome!!

I'm not sure if the rules have changed, but at one point this was against the rules here at DOA. Just to caution everyone. I'm not sure if it's still a rule or not. I don't personally AGREE with that rule, as several of my absolute grail dolls were obtained this way; by me saying something like, if you ever wanted to find her a new home, I would be very interested. But I was always very careful to just say this once... to not harp on it or badger the person... and most of all, to remember that if the doll got sold, and not to me, that it's not like that seller had some sort of obligation to sell me their doll just because I said something about it.

I can understand people being offended by the request. Some people are unbelievably rude, and I have heard more than 1 story about how person X wanted person Y's doll, and proceeded to badger them about it, get offended when person X said no sorry she's not for sale, etc. I think this badgering and rude behavior is what led to the doa rule that you can't pm somebody to ask if their doll is for sale.

 

It's still against DOA's to rules to solicit sales on the forum. So, hopefully, none of the people who are reading that some people are okay with it decide that means its okay to do it here. The reasons not allowing it are pretty clear, too. This is supposed to be a place to share our love of the hobby, not simply a space for buying and selling. It gets old fast when someone keeps begging you to sell something special to you. And it comes across as selfish and entitled.

 

As a rule I think it's a bit rude because of how tiresome it would become if everyone thought it was ok. Whether I actually become offended depends on how it was phrased and well I thought of the person. I couldn't ever say whether or not someone else should be offended as there are far too many variables. I can only say that the one asking is risking some embarrassment by doing it.

 

I've had people mention that if I were ever to part with x doll or y doll, they'd be interested in being contacted first, which I think is fine, but I've also had people say things like, "I can't find this doll, but you have it, and you should sell it to me!" which can be a little off-putting. While the pushy approach is in bad taste, if people are respectful, I don't generally hold it against them for putting it in the universe.

Plus, as far as DOA goes, it is against the rules to ask people to sell or buy dolls outside the MP, so one should really keep that in mind. I know OP was talking about a different scenario, but I thought it was worth noting.

 

I've been on this forum for quite some time and have had several occasions of people asking me if I'd be interested in selling one of my dolls. All PM's were very polite. Personally, I don't see the harm. If I'm not interested (and I'm not), I can just tell them and haven't had any experience with pushy people.

Like the others in this thread, I really think it depends on how the question if phrased. If it was a rude question, I'd be inclined to troll: "Yes, sure I'd be willing to sell X head. How about $50,000.00?"